Have you chosen your bridal party yet? Do you have people in mind, but still aren’t sure? Long before I was engaged, I had certain people in mind to ask to be in my bridal party. Of course, life changes all the time, and some of those people were no longer a part of my life when it came time to ask. I originally didn’t want a big party at all. I originally just wanted my brother and then whom ever Jeremiah decided for a best man to be a part of the bridal party. Choosing people to be a part of your day can be emotional and hard, and for an over thinker like me I thought a lot of how this could be a game changer for friendships and relationships.
Before I asked anyone I really thought about who could afford (monetary and timewise) to take time away from their daily lives, and schedules to be a part of a bridal party. Being a bridesmaid can be (read:it is) expensive, emotional, humbling, trying, and rewarding. I wanted who I chose to be happy they were in my wedding, and to this day I still hope they were. There was a friend who I wanted in my wedding so badly, but knowing she was out of state, I had a feeling she may not be able to be a part of every moment, I made the choice to let her be a guest if she chose to be, instead of the duty of a bridesmaid. From that moment, I knew who I would ask. And that made life easier, but I still didn’t know who I would choose for a Maid of Honor (MOH), instead, I chose to ask my brother to be the Man of Honor. And that works too! Just because people say you’re supposed to have a MOH, don’t feed into it, if you just can’t make that choice! And don’t feel bad bout it either! For me, choosing a MOH was too hard, I love all of my friends equally, they all bring something to the table that without them, life just wouldn’t be the same, singling one out would be too hard, and for me that was not how I wanted to start this off!
How you ask your bridesmaid is important, but more important than that, map out with them from the beginning, what you want from them. Maybe you want lots of parties thrown in your honor, maybe you want a big bachelorette party, financially and time wise your friends should know what you expect from them. Let your bridesmaid have the reigns a little bit, you might just be pleasantly surprised; like I was when they suggested having wine colored shoes with their dresses (the color the men wore) when I just figured they could wear black. You might find that through them you draw inspiration and when you hear a song you know immediately that will be the song they walk down the aisle to like Adele *Make you feel my love*, be open to ideas-bridesmaids are there to help you, so be nice to them, and show them how much you appreciate their hard work!! You should be happy with who you choose, so don’t do things like ask any of your bridesmaids to lose weight, gain weight, grow their hair long, or lop it off- if you do that, you are lucky you even have friends who are willing to be in your wedding!! Likewise, a bridesmaid should be honest if she can’t do it, won’t want to do it, or is financially unable to do it. If you have committed yourself that means your bride is depending on you to be there if you are needed. It isn’t just about being in the wedding. You have been chosen for a special occasion, embrace it, and be a part of the party, I promise you will be fulfilled in more ways than one!
Enjoy every moment.